Divinely Inspired

Life for me has always been a struggle as an independent filmmaker. I totally bought into the idea that I was a down and out filmmaker and I lived it to the fullest. Is there anyone reading this that has bought into the "Race Consciousness" within the industry that tells you life as a filmmaker is nothing but a struggle? I did! To me life was always a struggle, where one project after another would end in failure. First it was the conscious film festival that I was creating during the dot com generation. While creating the festival I totally put my life on hold because I thought that I could make a difference in the world. Then my hard drive crashed and I lost two years of work along with my "life" that was so tied up in this venture. I was not going to be defeated and I got another computer, this time with a 120 gigabyte back-up drive and proceeded to re-create my film festival only this time with the newest technology by Macromedia. I spent many, many weeks learning to use Flash, Dreamweaver and other web designing programs. Again I put my life on hold to pursue my dream thinking this is it! This is going to bring me success and abundance in my life even though everything else was missing. I felt empty inside and yet I couldn't let go of the belief that my life would be meaningless without it. I pushed ahead for another year re-creating the festival... Yes, I pushed ahead during a divorce, then a romance break-up and even through the dot-com crash. I continued to work on the festival site day and night. I was miserable yet, I couldn't let go because at that point it became who I was and letting it go would be like ending my life. I Shot a number of films that ended up on the shelf, wrote some screenplays that never sold, and attempted to create a video production company. I became defined by my work and nothing was going to change that. Does this sound familiar to any of you?

Finally one day after many years of trying to make my mark in the industry, I woke up feeling depressed and discouraged saying that I am not getting out of bed until God tells me what to do with my life. Well I ended up staying in bed all day, praying and meditating, and trying to listen to that "Still Small Voice" deep inside. I kept getting the word to let go of everything that I was trying to create in my life, even the film festival but I just couldn't do it. I finally fell asleep and then the miracle happened. I woke up at about three o'clock in the morning and started to write a book about this life that we are living as being a movie that is created by an Infinite Filmmaker. I must have written about 30 pages that night and had no idea what I was going to do with it. Then a series of events took place that I believe were Divinely guided. Somebody suggested that I go to the Agape Revelation Conference and because I couldn't afford it I should call about volunteering. On the day of registration for the conference, one of the ministers left a message that they needed help at the conference and if I was interested to just show up at the conference and ask for the coordinator. To make a long story short, I attended the conference and while there received a free gift certificate to the Millionaire Mind Intensive workshop by T. Harv Eker one of the top motivational speakers in the country. I still had no idea what this was all about and I didn't plan on going to the workshop, but then a friend that I met at the conference called me and asked if I wanted to go to the intensive workshop with her. I attended the workshop and as I watched T. Harv Eker motivate the audience I knew that this had something to do with the new book I was writing. Then at the end of the workshop they were offering a course called Train The Trainer, for people who wanted to do what Mr. Eker was doing and I knew I just had to sign up for the course. It was $3,000 and I went back and forth over whether I could afford it or not. I was in total anxiety over the money and looking back I should have trusted in Spirit, because they agreed to let me pay $300 a month for the next year, which I did. It ended up that during the year I volunteered for some classes and received $600 in coupons which I applied to my tuition. The real miracle comes in when the sales manager who I met at the classes, offered my $1500 to edit a promo video for Mr. Eker's new book. Good or Good? It ended up costing me $900 for the course. I later went on to take the Train The Trainer II class and am now a certified trainer, trained by one of the greatest teachers and coaches in the country. Through Divine Inspiration, I have transformed my love of filmmaking into teaching Spiritual Principles for Success to creative individuals in the entertainment business.

The blessing continues today when I recently received a scholarship to study for my Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica . I am presently coaching and teaching classes based on the book that I started to write on that fateful morning when I let go of how I thought my life should unfold and allowed myself to open up to God's plan for my life.


I believe that when we step out of our own way and allow Spirit to guide us to our true calling in life all the struggle and pain that we are facing will just fade away into the nothingness from where it came.